It was Friday night, and the gang sat in Johnson C basement, drinking White Claws and smoking Dazzy’s bong. The Flying Hamsters’ season opener was set for Sunday, at home against Easterville State University. At a time when they should have been excited, the group felt lackadaisical and uninspired.
“Man, is it just me, or is everything kinda whack right now?” Dazzy observed. “Some kind of negative shit’s been in the air lately.”
“I don’t know, man, but this situation with Scarlett is getting out of control,” Lewis said. “The makeup sex today was great, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells on top of a nuclear bomb.”
“That’s what Dazzy’s gonna be walking on too, if he’s not careful,” Kat replied. She shot Dazzy a look, and he returned it. The tension could be cut with a knife.
“Oh please, all of y’all with your baby mama drama,” Bobby complained. “I’m out here getting physically assaulted, and Coach ain’t gonna do shit about it. Just gonna play that creep because of nepotism and intimidation. My back is killing me.”
“Yeah, Ronnie’s cool, man, but I don’t get that about him,” Dazzy said. “And I think Fender knew what he was doing there. He saw you coming for his spot. It’s fucked up.”
“Also fucked up is the way Dexter’s been acting lately,” Lewis chimed in. Dexter had been silent and brooding. He snapped out of it.
“Hey man, I’ve just been in my feels,” he said defensively. “But fuck that! We’re gonna step up and start making positive changes.” He downed the rest of his White Claw and slammed it to the floor in a sudden burst of inspiration. Criticism fueled his fire.
“Hey, good for you, man!” Bobby praised him. “About damn time.”
“Bruh, I don’t know, we just need something to shake things up and get us back on track,” Kat said. “We all seem to be spiraling out here.”
The room went silent, and Dazzy’s face was thoughtful. Suddenly, he started wagging his finger, indicating he had an idea.
“I got it, y’all,” he declared calmly. “Tanner said he had some acid tabs in today.” Tanner Jacobs was the team’s colorful center fielder. “What are y’all up to tomorrow?”
“Uh, resting up for the most important game of my life so far?” Lewis offered.
“Yeah bro, I don’t know,” Bobby said. “I’ve always wanted to try it, but that shit sounds risky before Opening Day.”
“Dazzy, have you lost your damn mind?” Kat inquired, dumbfounded.
“Hey, listen, though,” Dazzy began to explain. “We have all day to rest our bodies for the game. There’s nothing better we can do for our minds during that rest time than to trip. It’ll be one day, it’ll wear off by the next morning, and it’ll get our heads right. Sometimes you gotta take risks and think outside the box.”
“But what does it do, though?” Dexter asked. “I’ve always been scared that if I try anything stronger than weed, I’ll end up strung out on crack, heroin, and meth.”
“The D.A.R.E. program will do that to you, bro,” Lewis observed.
“It won’t do any of that shit, man,” Dazzy assured him. “It opens up your mind to be free. My boys, the Art Gallery Villains, made their entire second album while tripping on a beach in the Dominican, and that shit was genius.”
“Well, just because it worked for geniuses doesn’t mean it’ll work for us,” Bobby argued. “We’re just a bunch of regular-ass college kids.”
“That’s the beauty of it, man,” Dazzy said. “Listen, I’ll get up early and get the shit from Tanner. We all meet up back here. We pop a tab, or a half-tab for the beginners. We come back here, we throw on some content, and we have the time of our lives.”
“But what if we’re still fucked up tomorrow though?” Dexter asked. “Doesn’t it last a long time?”
“We’ll be good by tomorrow,” Dazzy assured. “Also, have y’all ever heard of Dock Ellis?”
“Some old dude from like the ‘70s or something?” Lewis guessed.
“What the hell kind of doctor is this?” Kat asked indignantly.
“YO,” Dazzy said in disbelief. “We gotta watch some content on him. My dude threw a literal motherfucking NO-HITTER while tripping on acid.”
“Whoa.” Dexter’s jaw dropped. “Deadass?”
“I shit you not.”
“You know what, fuck it,” Bobby said. “I want to be spontaneous and have adventures. I want to be like Dock. I’m in.”
“Ok, I’m going to make the executive decision to live life to the fullest,” Lewis said. “I’m in.”
“Oh my god, y’all are crazy,” Kat said. “But you guys need to have a caretaker, so I’m gonna come and experience the chaos.”
“That’s why you’re my baby,” Dazzy told her. “Big bet, boys. Let’s do this. Time to be based on the baseball field!”