It was 8:15 on Saturday morning. The sun was in the air and dew was in the grass as Dazzy walked across campus to Tanner Jacobs’ dorm room. He had managed to wrangle the rest of the gang out of bed and get them into Johnson C basement, where they sat awaiting the spoils. Dazzy was feeling good. Positivity and change were in the air.
As he opened the door to the third floor of Cummings Hall, he sensed a familiar but unexpected presence. The loud breathing gave it away first, followed by the odor of stale ham sandwiches and unjustified confidence. Jimmy Fender was leaving Tanner’s room with a paper bag that he was making no effort to hide.
“Hey bro, what are you doing here?” Dazzy asked, confused.
“Just picking up some fucking LSD before the big game tomorrow,” Jimmy barked loudly, without an ounce of discretion. “Gonna get fucked up, bro! WOO…!”
“Calm yourself, my guy,” Dazzy calmly interjected. “He’s trying to run a business, he don’t need security getting all up in his shit. Also, you think that stuff’s gonna be good for you with your high-strung ass?”
“I don’t care what you say, man,” Jimmy grunted. “I’ve never done drugs before, but I got three tabs and I’m taking ‘em all right now, baby. I’m a real man and I can handle anything. I’m fucking invincible!”
“Alright, uhhh, good luck with that, dude,” Dazzy walked away as his eyes bugged out and he tried not to laugh. Jimmy continued to howl with enthusiasm as he left down the stairs. “Toxic masculinity-having headass,” Dazzy mumbled to himself. He knocked discreetly on the door, and Tanner opened it to let him in.
“Bro, you gave that knuckle-dragging buffoon LSD?” Dazzy asked, incredulous.
“Hey man, a sale is a sale.” Tanner shrugged. “Maybe it could make his personality better? It can’t hurt.”
“You right, you right. But he’s gonna die.”
“So you guys are having a little fun before the game tomorrow, huh?” Tanner inquired.
“Hell yeah dawg, you know how it is,” Dazzy confirmed. “We all got some real baggage going on and we gotta clear our heads.”
“Well, this is the shit that will take you guys on a journey,” Tanner said as he pulled out a small paper bag with the 10 tabs tucked inside. “You’re going full Dock Ellis today, baby.”
“My boy Ellis, D!” Dazzy agreed. “Yes sir!”
“Bro, the first time I tried one of these, I watched Spirited Away on repeat the entire day,” Tanner said. “It was a full five-sense experience. I couldn’t get enough.”
“Nice dude, enjoy the ride!”
“Yes sir!” Dazzy took the bag and carried it surreptitiously in his jacket back to Johnson C. Today was going to be a good day.