“Alright, my guy, we’re trying to have ourselves a nice day,” Dazzy told Jimmy. “What are you doing here?”

“I…I just need help,” Jimmy said breathily. His demeanor was a complete left turn from his typical douchey frat-bro machismo; he instead resembled a lost puppy dog. “I saw through to the other side.”

“The other side of what, your dad’s bank account?” Bobby cracked, feeling bold.

“Huh?” Jimmy didn’t get it. “I took three tabs of acid and I saw into the void. The aliens, man, they’re coming to get us.”

“I don’t know what in the sweet hell you’re talking about, but keep going, it’s entertaining,” Lewis mused.

“Nah, it’s for real dude, I just watched a bunch of Andrew Cones videos.” Andrew Cones was a completely off-the-rails conspiracy theorist. “All the politicians, their brains have been taken over by chips. They’ve been turned into half-chicken, half-goat hybrids. The Martians, they’re going to get us, too. All we can do to fight it is drink Kombucha and do tai chi.”

“Ok, so uh, I don’t like you, but this is not good, you need help,” Dazzy asserted. “I’m going to take you to the Wellness Center right now and you’re gonna get your shit sorted out.”

“Bro, I don’t need help, man,” Jimmy stuttered weakly, but his words fell on deaf ears.

“Anyone who takes Andrew Cones seriously needs help,” Kat insisted. “Let him take you.”

“But what about the aliens?” Jimmy tried to argue as Dazzy dragged his massive frame out of the room and started down the hall. “They’re controlling us…”

“Well, that was really freaking weird,” Dexter observed.

“That man’s lost his damn mind,” Kat asserted. “Although it’ll probably be a big improvement on his personality.”

“Big yikes, something tells me my chances at first base just improved,” Bobby said hopefully as each of his friends knocked on the nearest wooden surface.

“Yo, I love you guys and I’m having a great time,” Lewis said as he slumped down further on the floor. “But I’m trying to go do something, you feel me? Let’s have an adventure.”

“Anyone know any parties or shit going on?” Dexter asked.

“Nah, fuck a party,” Kat interjected. “Y’all on acid, we need something different. Something special for today. Something we’ll never forget.” Suddenly, her eyes lit up. “The fountain,” she whispered.

The guys all looked at each other and laughed, knowing exactly what she was thinking. The George Gilroy Memorial Fountain was a small body of water near the campus dining hall. Haggerty students weren’t supposed to venture into it, so naturally this was considered a rite of passage and something for students to check off their bucket lists.

“Let’s do it!” Dexter exclaimed.

“Race y’all there,” Lewis challenged, leading the way out of the room. In a chaotic jumble of intoxicated energy, the rest of the gang made a mad dash out the front door and went sprinting down the street.