Chicago White Sox: “Dead on Arrival” by Fall Out Boy

Aside from the White Sox being DOA to the last two postseasons after a quick ALDS exit in 2021, this jam comes from FOB’s time in the relatively underground Chicago punk scene. Like the White Sox, they were a young group of guys in the Windy City grinding their way to superstardom. Hopefully for the Palehose, they can become a song we grow to like despite not sticking in the playoffs at first.

Most Poignant Lyrics (MPL): “This is side one, flip me over/I know I’m not your favorite record/The songs you grow to like never stick at first.”

Cleveland Guardians: “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day

It’s tough to argue any MLB franchise has suffered more heartbreak than Cleveland, which has gone 73 years and counting without a World Series title. There has been no shortage of close calls, as 1997, 2007, and 2016 left plenty of broken dreams in their wake. Not to mention, the identity crisis experienced by Jesus of Suburbia as he walks the lonely roads and ultimately becomes his alter ego, St. Jimmy, parallels the former Indians’ transformation into the new Guardians identity (now that they’ve gotten past that lawsuit).

MPL: “I walk a lonely road/The only one that I have ever known … I walk this empty street/On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.”

Detroit Tigers: “Young Volcanoes” by Fall Out Boy

The Tigers may still be a year or two away from true contention, but like young, talented volcanoes, they should be ready to erupt with success before too long. “Young Volcanoes” is about FOB’s reinvention of themselves after their hiatus, and Detroit is doing the same following a hiatus from the playoffs. Also, tigers fit right in with the track’s ancient Roman, Colosseum theme.

MPL: “Before it has begun/We’ve already won/We are wild/We are like young volcanoes.”

Kansas City Royals: “Golden Days” by Panic! at the Disco

For a song about looking back fondly on the good memories and lamenting the passing of time, the Royals seem like the best fit here. Things just haven’t been the same since their mid-2010s glory days that led to a championship. The overall pleasant demeanor of the song, however, reflects that Kansas City fans still have a lot to be thankful for.

MPL: “Oh, don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade?/And the clock just makes the colors turn to grey/Forever younger, growing older just the same/All the memories that we make will never change.”

Minnesota Twins: “Where Did the Party Go” by Fall Out Boy

The Twins were certainly partying in 2019, when their explosive Bomba Squad offense shattered the single-season team home run record. This party disappeared abruptly in 2021, however, and the team’s future is uncertain. Minnesota’s old aches of losing seem to have become new again, meaning they may trade some of their players and turn them into exes. Maybe one day they’ll win a playoff game.

MPL: “My old aches become new again/My old friends become exes again/Woah, where did the party go?”

Photo Creds:

“Dead on Arrival”: https://www.wattpad.com/story/66480313-dead-on-arrival-fob-patrick-stump-fanfiction

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boulevard_of_Broken_Dreams_(Green_Day_song)

“Young Volcanoes”: https://soundcloud.com/jheny9/fall-out-boy-young-volcanoes

“Golden Days”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooEv1cH97HA

“Where Did the Party Go”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4AcXoCLTMU