I was never an emo kid growing up. Truthfully, I wasn’t really cool enough or informed enough on pop culture to have the typical angsty edgy teen phase. Instead, I was half high school baseball player and half socially awkward honor student. Because of this, my emo phase started late, during my senior year of college. I had flirted with getting into ‘90s and 2000s pop punk for a few years at that point, watching classic videos like “In Too Deep” and “I Miss You” in my dorm room after nights out with my friends. The vibes just hit different when I was drunk eating Domino’s pizza at 2 am. 

During my senior year of college in fall 2019, with only one class a day and too much time on my hands, I got more seriously into the lore, particularly the “emo trinity” of Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and My Chemical Romance. This era peaked with my performance of “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” at my school’s Covers event for student bands. The singing was admittedly rough, as I had mastered the song in rehearsal but wasn’t ready for the weird sound system of the basement we were performing in. I thought I had to scream, but I didn’t. Nevertheless, I was a top-notch emo kid in spirit that night. Even though the guys in my favorite bands probably wouldn’t classify themselves as “emo,” that’s how most of the world sees it. I don’t see “emo” as a bad thing, so I just own the image.

Then halfway through my last semester of college, the good ol’ “panorama” hit and we went home for spring break, never to return to campus. This obviously didn’t take me out of my emo phase, but the mystique slowly wore off over the next year-and-a-half or so. A lot of transitions had to be made in my life as I graduated college and entered the actual world, with real-life obligations taking precedence over developing my music taste.

However, one day near the beginning of the “panini” in spring 2020, I was at my brother’s house with my family. Looking at my phone, I saw that Fall Out Boy would be going on the Hella Mega Tour with Green Day and Weezer. I also saw that they had a tour date at PNC Park in Pittsburgh in August, close to my birthday. My girlfriend at the time, despite constantly giving me shit for being in my emo phase, was undeniably into the scene as well, so I invited her and she was hyped to go. My parents generously bought the tickets, and we were on. It would be my first real big rock concert.

As you can probably guess, it all came crashing down thanks to the “parmesan,” and the Hella Mega Tour was pushed back to the summer of 2021. There was a silver lining, though. Instead of being close to my birthday, the Pittsburgh tour date would be ON my birthday, August 19, and we got to keep the tickets. It was a bummer to have it pushed back a year, but it also felt like a blessing in disguise. My 23rd birthday would now be one of the best of my life.

Well, my ex-girlfriend and I broke up in April of this year, and I needed someone else to go with. My brother Reyan, a semi-famous (soon to be more famous) writer and all-around gem of a human, has always been there to enjoy cool experiences with me, and he made time in his busy schedule to make it happen. 

When the big day finally came, it felt a little weird not to be going with my ex, and there may have been some hard feelings about it. But I knew that Reyan was the best person to go with all along. He had seen Fall Out Boy in concert five times before and is a veteran of the 2000s pop-punk scene. I pushed all feelings aside, and we vibed out on the three-hour journey to Pittsburgh. This felt right.