\u201cAlright, my guy, we\u2019re trying to have ourselves a nice day,\u201d Dazzy told Jimmy. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2026I just need help,\u201d Jimmy said breathily. His demeanor was a complete left turn from his typical douchey frat-bro machismo; he instead resembled a lost puppy dog. \u201cI saw through to the other side.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe other side of what, your dad\u2019s bank account?\u201d Bobby cracked, feeling bold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d Jimmy didn\u2019t get it. \u201cI took three tabs of acid and I saw into the void. The aliens, man, they\u2019re coming to get us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what in the sweet hell you\u2019re talking about, but keep going, it\u2019s entertaining,\u201d Lewis mused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNah, it\u2019s for real dude, I just watched a bunch of Andrew Cones videos.\u201d Andrew Cones was a completely off-the-rails conspiracy theorist. \u201cAll the politicians, their brains have been taken over by chips. They\u2019ve been turned into half-chicken, half-goat hybrids. The Martians, they\u2019re going to get us, too. All we can do to fight it is drink Kombucha and do tai chi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOk, so uh, I don\u2019t like you, but this is not good, you need help,\u201d Dazzy asserted. \u201cI\u2019m going to take you to the Wellness Center right now and you\u2019re gonna get your shit sorted out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBro, I don\u2019t need help, man,\u201d Jimmy stuttered weakly, but his words fell on deaf ears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnyone who takes Andrew Cones seriously needs help,\u201d Kat insisted. \u201cLet him take you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut what about the aliens?\u201d Jimmy tried to argue as Dazzy dragged his massive frame out of the room and started down the hall. “They’re controlling us…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, that was really freaking weird,\u201d Dexter observed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat man\u2019s lost his damn mind,\u201d Kat asserted. \u201cAlthough it\u2019ll probably be a big improvement on his personality.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBig yikes, something tells me my chances at first base just improved,\u201d Bobby said hopefully as each of his friends knocked on the nearest wooden surface.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYo, I love you guys and I\u2019m having a great time,\u201d Lewis said as he slumped down further on the floor. \u201cBut I\u2019m trying to go do something, you feel me? Let\u2019s have an adventure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnyone know any parties or shit going on?\u201d Dexter asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNah, fuck a party,\u201d Kat interjected. \u201cY\u2019all on acid, we need something different. Something special for today. Something we\u2019ll never forget.\u201d Suddenly, her eyes lit up. \u201cThe fountain,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The guys all looked at each other and laughed, knowing exactly what she was thinking. The George Gilroy Memorial Fountain was a small body of water near the campus dining hall. Haggerty students weren\u2019t supposed to venture into it, so naturally this was considered a rite of passage and something for students to check off their bucket lists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet\u2019s do it!\u201d Dexter exclaimed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRace y\u2019all there,\u201d Lewis challenged, leading the way out of the room. In a chaotic jumble of intoxicated energy, the rest of the gang made a mad dash out the front door and went sprinting down the street.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cAlright, my guy, we\u2019re trying to have ourselves a nice day,\u201d Dazzy told Jimmy. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d \u201cI\u2026I just need help,\u201d Jimmy said breathily. His demeanor was a complete left turn from his typical douchey frat-bro machismo; he instead resembled a lost puppy dog. \u201cI saw through to the other side.\u201d \u201cThe other […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","WB4WB4WP_MODE":"","WB4WP_PAGE_SCRIPTS":"","WB4WP_PAGE_STYLES":"","WB4WP_PAGE_FONTS":"","WB4WP_PAGE_HEADER":"","WB4WP_PAGE_FOOTER":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ootb","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n